I read a post today by a witty girl I used to go to High School with (Keiko) that simply came so much out of my mind, that I almost don't see the point of even writing this post.
What can I say to add to that? I do have a few thoughts:
1. Being a mother does not mean erasing yourself; your hopes and wants and dreams and desires
~ interesting parents make interesting kids
~ your children will not end up as horrible people because you did things that interested you outside of their lives while they were growing up
~ children are not going to be children forever. There has to be something else that defines who u are even after they have grown and don't need you to be there every second of the day
~basing one's happiness or sense of self around another human being is not only not a bad idea, but psychologically unhealthy. Our children bring us joy, but they (nor our husbands) should be our only source of fulfillment.
2. Why does it have to be all or nothing?
~It is not selfish to be multidimensional. We were individuals long before we became mothers and we should stay as individuals for as long as we live. I did not have to get rid of any part of myself in order to be a mother and I am confident that I can be a good mother even though I am also committed to other things.
3.I never understood the saying of "full time mom"
~We are always mothers, whether we spend the majority of time in the home or not. My responsibility as a mother is always full time.
There are many sacrifices that good mothers make for the betterment of their children and their future. My mother gave up a career that she worked hard to establish so that the five of us could come to the United States and become the Doctors and Teachers, Musicians and Dentists that we always wanted to be. But, mothers should never sacrifice themselves. Their essence, their passions.
I truly feel that if a woman feels like her path to motherhood had to be bought at the cost of important pieces of herself, that she will truly never really be able to enjoy motherhood.
God made us able to do many things, to be many things to many people. It is all about balance. Our children need to see the example of how one human being can balance all of life's joys and responsibilities with grace and strength.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
On Tuesday and Wednesday, I will be taking the 3rd part of a 3-part board exam (The first two parts were done during medical school). It will last for 9hrs each day. It has been a challenge to study for that exam, keep abreast of reading for my specialty, and find time to sleep, enjoy my little one and spend time with my Husband. It definetely makes you good at time management. This past week has been especially taxing. I have been having to stay late at work either because of the barage of consults that our GYN team has been hit with, or being detained in the OR on a long complicated case. Through it all though, I thank God. As exhausted as this past week in particular has made me, I have to admit that it has given me a deep sense of satisfaction as well. All of the challenges, the interesting consults that I've had to figure out, have taught me so much. As one of my favorite anesthesiologists told me this week: "You don't learn from an easy residency. It's the busy days that teach you the most"
This morning, around 7am, I was able to enjoy the bliss of snuggling with my sweet baby boy, while smelling the delicious breakfast that my wonderful husband was making for me. I knew that more studying was on the agenda, but at least for those moments, I got to just be a woman enjoying her first Mothers' Day.
My beautiful son, how long I have waited to hold you and smell you and kiss your face
And now that you're here, I thank God daily, for giving you to me; how great is His grace
My beautiful son, you've made me a mother
Exactly what I've always wanted to be
You keep me complete, and grounded and joyful
Amazing how blessed one woman can be
My beautiful son, I'll love you forever
your father and I will always be there
To teach you of God, Faith, Love and Ambition
Thank You for making me a Mother, my Dear