Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My thoughts on the subject

I read a post today by a witty girl I used to go to High School with (Keiko) that simply came so much out of my mind, that I almost don't see the point of even writing this post.

What can I say to add to that? I do have a few thoughts:

1. Being a mother does not mean erasing yourself; your hopes and wants and dreams and desires
~ interesting parents make interesting kids
~ your children will not end up as horrible people because you did things that interested you outside of their lives while they were growing up
~ children are not going to be children forever. There has to be something else that defines who u are even after they have grown and don't need you to be there every second of the day
~basing one's happiness or sense of self around another human being is not only not a bad idea, but psychologically unhealthy. Our children bring us joy, but they (nor our husbands) should be our only source of fulfillment.

2. Why does it have to be all or nothing?
~It is not selfish to be multidimensional. We were individuals long before we became mothers and we should stay as individuals for as long as we live. I did not have to get rid of any part of myself in order to be a mother and I am confident that I can be a good mother even though I am also committed to other things.

3.I never understood the saying of "full time mom"
~We are always mothers, whether we spend the majority of time in the home or not. My responsibility as a mother is always full time.



There are many sacrifices that good mothers make for the betterment of their children and their future. My mother gave up a career that she worked hard to establish so that the five of us could come to the United States and become the Doctors and Teachers, Musicians and Dentists that we always wanted to be. But, mothers should never sacrifice themselves. Their essence, their passions.
I truly feel that if a woman feels like her path to motherhood had to be bought at the cost of important pieces of herself, that she will truly never really be able to enjoy motherhood.

God made us able to do many things, to be many things to many people. It is all about balance. Our children need to see the example of how one human being can balance all of life's joys and responsibilities with grace and strength.

4 comments:

witticism here said...

Well said! I definitely agree with what you say about interesting parents making interesting kids. Thank you for elaborating and the support. :)

Katy said...

Excellent post!

Cassandra said...

I agree 100%. I thank God that I have such a supportive husband who literally throws me out of the house when it seems like I haven't been out for a while. He wants me to have my own life! And the girls benefit from their daddy-daughter time that they wouldn't have had. Who am I to take that away from them?

Ern said...

Dionne -

I am so glad I actually took some time to surf my friends' blogs tonight... something I NEVER do anymore. It's not a secret, I'm very weary of becoming a mother someday for the very reason of fear of losing myself. Thank you for reposting Keiko's original blog post and expanding on her points of life & motherhood. Well said. :)