Great News I've Been Dying to Share!!!

As I'd said in my first, 'Welcome' post on this blog, Randy and I were at the point in our lives where we would start our family. Well, after being on birth control pills for many years (almost 10 or so), I was nervous as to how long it would take me to get pregnant. My paternal grandmother had 10 children, my maternal grandmother had 6, and my mother had 5 children, of which I am the oldest. I prayed that the very heightened fertility of my family would trickle down on me.

On April 2nd, I found out that my prayers had been answered. Remarkably, after only one month of trying, Randy and I are expecting our first baby, due December 8th!! I took three pregnancy tests- 2 on the 2nd and one the evening of the 3rd- just to make sure that I was not imagining it all.

Yesterday was my first doctor's visit and this morning I had my first ultrasound. I am 8wks and 1 day today. Seeing my baby's heartbeat for the first time was amazing! I would always feel so much joy for the moms whenever I did their ultrasounds, but to see my own baby's heart beating fast and strong, made my heart swell and my eyes fill with tears.

The picture above was not one of the best that the lady could've given me but oh well. As you can see the rather large dark area in the upper right was my extremely full bladder. Great for doing early pregnancy ultrasounds, but not very comfortable when you are always having to go. I was able to see the yolk sac, the body, as well as the buds that will soon become the arms and legs. Apart from that, everything was still a bit hazy since everything is still so small. Nevertheless, I was thrilled!

Yesterday I told my (paternal) grandmother, and she is spreading the word to all of my extended family. It was good to give her good news after she received such bad news the day before.

I feel truly blessed and honored that God has entrusted me with this life. This March was definitely a month of dreams coming true for me and Randy.

An Unexpected Goodbye

My grandmother had 10 children. The first of 10 was my dad Rudolph, and the 6th of the 10 was my uncle Michael. Uncle Michael was only a young boy when I was born, and I only have vague memories of him.
For the majority of his life my uncle has battled with addictions and a life of crime as a result of his drug habits. Even with the demons that he tried to shake, my mother remembers him as always smiling, always cheerful.
Today I was told that after years of being on and off drugs, in and out of jail, numerous attempts at turning his life around, in Trinidad today, my uncle Michael is dead. No one is certain exactly what happened but it is believed that he fell off of a building to his death.

My dad, and 4 of my aunts who live in Arizona, (There are also siblings who still reside in Trinidad) had to break the news to my grandmother today, that the child that she worried about all these years is no longer alive. I was told that she did not take it very well. Out living one's children is arguably the greatest fear that any parent lives with. I pray that she is able to draw on the great strength that is within her to cope with this news. I heard the pain in my aunt's voice when she called me and I thought of how I would feel to lose my own brother and being thousands of miles away.

When I think of my siblings and the bond that we have, I know that my father and my aunts and uncles must be hurting right now. No matter what disagreements one may have, there is always that love. I pray that my uncle's soul is in the right place today- in a place of rest where no temptations of the flesh can torment him, where only peace resides. I hope that he knows how much he was loved and I wish that I was able to get to know him better.

Goodbye Uncle Michael

New Health Corner Post

Postpartum psychological disorders on the Women's Health Corner. Feel free to check it out

Lazy and Lovin' It

Can I just say, that apart from working on residency paperwork and preparing posts for my Women's Health Corner, I am happy to be able to sleep in, watch TV all day, and catch up on just the healing and rejuvinating power of relaxation! :)

Per request, I just posted on the women's health corner info about the female reproductive cycle. Next will be Postpartum Depression-hopefully coming soon.

One challenge that I am encountering when preparing posts for the Corner, is trying to put into simple enough terms, processes that are anything but. Trying to explain B without having to teach the reader information A that makes understanding information B possible is definetely daunting sometimes, but it is a challenge that I welcome because patients deserve to know what is going on in their bodies in a way that they can understand and utilize, and so it is important that physicians be able to bridge that gap for their patients.

Thanks for all of the feedback to my little rant the other day. I wish that I felt comfortable enough to share with you the context of what spurred me to write what I did. Just know, that it concerns being around a family that we love, that is lost, who on some level wants to reconnect with God, but who is so entrenched in bad habits from poor upbringing in the past, and misconceptions about life, further more faith that there always seems to present itself, barriers and ignorances to trudge through in order to communicate logically with them. Its not only about their faith, its about their idea of relationships and of parenting, that is disfunctional, a fact that they are the first to admit. They, like all of us, want to be better and do better than the generation before them, and I have faith that they will better the quality of their lives eventually. Its just a matter of figuring out what that definition is, and getting priorites in the right order. For right now,being around it sometimes takes a toll on me and on Randy. We pray for their happiness because that is all that we can do.

A little Rant

Without being very specific by pointing fingers or naming names, I will share with you a frustration that arose in me over the Easter weekend. It is an issue that presents itself in many ways upon my soul and I feel like I need to share.

It saddens my soul when I am around children that do not know about the love of God. It saddens and frustrates me to see when parents have chosen to ignore the development of that aspect of their lives. I know that there are atheists and agnostics and many other religions in this world, its just that some times when I hear or see ridiculous theories I get upset, epecially since I know that I must keep my mouth shut.

For example: Getting kids easter baskets filled with candy and gifts but not seeing the ridiculousnesss of doing so without even discussing the meaning and point of Easter.
Someone told me this weekend, that if there was no fun associated with an activity for a child then they will grow up with a memory of boredom and not maintain those beliefs as an adult. Thats all good and everything, but how do they maintain a belief when it is never taught in the first place, and all they get is the fun??

I also feel this way at christmas time, mind you, when I see that it has become about things and the aquisition of material possesions, but when heaven forbid a Christian wants to talk about Jesus at that time, there is awkwardness and surpression. I don't go around celebrating Hanukkah in order to get 8 gifts, yet our christian holidays are open for the picking to be celebrated by people who don't even believe that God exists. Santa Claus and the Easter bunny has replaced Jesus and the promise of salvation.

I AM DONE!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)

Today was my last day of medical school! :) I am so very excited and relieved. There are things and people that I will miss and look back on fondly, but right now, all I want to do while I can is sleep in, not look at medically related material (except for when preparing stuff for my women's corner), and breathe, I mean truly breathe. And while other small stretches of free time have been spent with me driving myself and my husband crazy, I know that this time, doing absolutely nothing will be just fine with me!
God has and continues to bless me every single day of my life. I am humbled by what he can do, and excited to see what else he has in store for me and my family. :)

Lots O' Paperwork

Well, I know what I will be working on this weekend. Lots of paperwork! My packet of contracts and forms and deadlines and ..... well a lot of stuff to be filled out, came in the mail today via UPS, from Albert Einstein Hospital. On every document my new title of Dionne Mills M.D. was either typed or stamped. How surreal.
I want to legally change my name later this year. Randy and I have been married for almost a year (May 17th) and I still haven't yet hyphenated my name because I wanted to have all of my board exams and my diploma in the same name so that I would not have any problems come graduation and Licensure time. While my new name will be Dionne Kimberly Mills-Sillik, I think that it would be easier to keep my maiden name when dealing professionally. Either way, I want to have the Mills name attached to an M.D. title because I will be the first of the Mills (or Browne, which is my mother's family's name) to do so. I am still confused as to what I want to do and how to go about it. I can't wait till this rotation ends and I can finally be home during the day so that I can figure all of this out.

Just a pic of me on the right and Dr. Kelsick, the surgeon that I am doing my rotation with. This particular surgery was to free up bowel loops that had basically stuck to each other and to the abdominal wall, thus looping around eachother and becoming obstructed and dilated. It took about two and a half hours. I was first assist on this case. Dr. Kelsick is awesome! He's been letting me do the skin closures, which is the last stage to closing up the abdomen. We do a Subcuticular stitch that requires that you be dextrous at handling and manipulating the needle driver and the pick ups so that you make a beautiful line that is well enough approximated so that when the scar heals, you can barely see where we went in. I have been getting a lot better and a lot faster. Today was my best effort yet! Dr. Kelsick and the anesthesiologist were pretty impressed, and I was very proud, especially since I did it while feeling like crap :)

I missed yesterday and today of my Surgery rotation due to a cold/flu that came on starting Sunday morning. I never get sick, so this sucks. I am going back to work tomorrow though, no matter what. At least now I only have THREE DAYS LEFT of med school. Yay!! :)


I received an email today from the associate program director, with a draft of our schedules. It is exciting but daunting at the same time whenever I am presented with tangible proof that in no time at all, I will be in the next chapter of my professional life. The responsibilities on my shoulder will be great, but I intend on not letting them weigh me down. I pray that God keeps me healthy, happy and strong during my residency training and beyond.

The hunt begins

We really, really, really, really need a new vehicle! All of my life I have driven used cars, and I am very grateful that I have been able to get from point A to point B with no car payments and very cheap car insurance. But, the time has come for me to start feeling as though all my hard work is paying off.

Today, we went to a Toyota dealership to look at a Rav 4. With kids in the future and everything, a car is just not going to be enough space for me, and I'd like to feel a bit higher off the ground. Once we get to Philadelphia, we plan on purchasing one. I am very excited but a bit anxious. I've never bought a vehicle before. Randy has experience working in car sales on the selling and finance side of the process, so thank fully he will be able to keep me from getting screwed over or swept up in the process.

It seems that with my Job letter showing my new contract, dealers are happy to accommodate the fact that I have not been employed for the last 4 yrs. They love doctors lol. Hey, whatever gets me into a new vehicle.

I hope and pray that this move goes smoothly and that I am able to get into an SUV before I have to start residency.

T-MINUS 1 MORE WEEK!!!!!

I have just had an exhausting, enriching, and extremely exciting week. I wish that I could share all the details right now, but all in good time. What I can share however, is my excitement that I only have one more week of medical school left!

I feel very grateful that I have been able to go back and do this two week surgery elective because I have been allowed to practice my skills and I know that I will be ahead of the game once residency starts.

Now, the countdown begins, and I cannot wait to be done!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUTS!!!

Another March 29th Birthday. This time my cousin. (Don't worry, she received a call on her birthday)

Happy Birthday Aiesha!!!!!

20 years ago, on an April Fools day, my aunt Michelle might of thought that someone was playing a trick on her if it weren't for the all too real labor pains. :)

Happy Birthday Casey!!!!! :) :) :) :)